Some things just go together: bread and butter, Laurel and Hardy, Forrest Gump's "peas and carrots." But golf and your steady who doesn't play? Well, that's just cats and dogs. Or Kardashians and talent. But ever since great pairings were first made, mankind has sought — and often struggled — to turn things that are good on their own into things that are great together. You love golf. You love your significant other. How do you introduce the two great loves of your life to one another? Hear this: It ain't no handshake introduction, but it doesn't take a miracle, either. Diehard golfers can convince their less enthusiastic partners to love — or at least tolerate — the game, and that can have serious benefits for your relationship. As life coach Leah Jantzen said, “The term ‘golf widow’ exists for a reason. Golf is a very time-consuming, all-encompassing sport that is more of a lifestyle than a hobby. A relationship can certainly suffer if two people are not on the same page, especially with an activity that takes so much time.” And as your round last week can attest, suffering is not good.
Learn Your Lesson
The term ‘golf widow’ exists for a reason.
- Leah Jantzen, Life Coach
We know that golf is relaxing and fun — for you. But to the uninitiated? The naysayer? The (other) love of your life? Words like "intimidating," "difficult" and "boring" are more apt. This is a problem that may be easily solved.
A few lessons and some practice at a driving range can go a long way toward increasing your companion's knowledge and appreciation of the sport. After all, nobody enjoys something that they don't "get" or suck at doing. Practice helps people to understand more and suck less. This leads to increased enjoyment for both of you.
Blogger Paula Holt writes about marriage and relationships. Over the years, her husband has gone from an occasional golfer, to a fanatic she calls “Golf Guy.” To alleviate her concerns over his increasing obsession, Holt’s husband arranged golf lessons for her. Now she’s into it. Sort of.
“I wouldn't say lessons have gotten me ‘hooked,’ but they have made me want to take more lessons,” she said. A step in the right direction. Another step included joining a family-friendly club with a swimming pool and nice restaurant. On days she doesn’t feel like golfing, Holt can still enjoy a beautiful day while her husband plays a few rounds.
Similarly, Jennifer Kravitz describes herself as always having been “less than enthusiastic” about her husband’s favorite sport until she became a golfer herself. She agrees that the way to introduce a significant other to golf is through lessons. She also had some gentle words of advice about who should give those lessons: "[Go] to the PGA pro. Don't try to teach her yourself!”
We think she's serious.
Presents Are Always a Hole-in-One
If lessons don’t do the trick, just buy them off.
“Who doesn't like presents?” asked Holt. “I have a great golf outfit and shoes in my closet just waiting for Chicago's golf season to start. Gifts can be a very effective way to entice your significant other to play. Whether it’s clothes, shoes, clubs or gadgets, there is no shortage of gear for the golf enthusiast. Or the not-so-enthused.”
Jantzen seconded this approach. “First, I would set them up with a really cute outfit,” she said. “Not the ‘Caddyshack’ look with argyle socks and plaid pants, but a cute skort, fun shoes and a cute visor.”
NOT-SO-PRO TIP: “Caddyshack” works better as an evening’s movie entertainment than as a sartorial inspiration.
Give Romance a Chance
No snark here — romance is serious stuff.
Angie Niehoff’s golfer husband came home one day and told her, “Today I saw this 80-year-old couple playing golf together. I want to grow old with you and share my love of the game. Could I get you golf lessons for your birthday?”
Now, 20 years later, they are still playing golf together. In another 20 years, they hope to be just like that couple and still out on a golf course.
Sharing activities you're passionate about with the person you’re passionate about can be one of life’s most satisfying experiences. It may not be easy, but isn’t it worth a shot? The alternative could be, shall we say, a hazard.
